*This article was posted by Elephant In The Room & Haircuts for Men Tulsa , EITR Lounge.
By JOSE CISNEROS
Who: Baltimore Ravens vs. San Francisco 49ers
What: Super Bowl XLVII
When: Sunday Feb 3, 2013
Where: Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans
As football season comes to an end, the excitement of Super Bowl XLVII is reaching it’s climax. The birds a chirping, the weather is perfect and men and boys alike gather around gigantic flat screens to celebrate the world championship of what is possibly the best sport to ever be played in the history of civilization. From beer temperature to world peace, many things are at stake on this glorious occasion. So we’ve compiled the top 5 rules of Super Bowl watching etiquette so that everyone can enjoy themselves in perfect peace.
5. Know the rules of the game. There are some rare individuals that were dealt the horrible fate of never having learned the basic rules of what is known across the universe as American Football. To them go out my deepest sympathies… If this is you, wikipedia the heck out of Football, the Harbaugh Brothers, Ray Lewis and pray that you don’t look like a fool. If all fails find a place to sit, drink a beer and keep quiet.
4. Bring Beer. not a six-pack, not a 12-pack. 18+ is required.
3. Wait for commercials to use the bathroom. There is nothing more annoying than the interruption of a critical 3rd and long, than a clumsy torso making it’s way across the room, blocking all views of what could possibly alter an electrifying game. Sure, there is DVR and instant replays but nothing is better than watching history in the making live.
2. Do not double dip! Ever wonder why pirates have hooks for hands? No, not for picking their noses. They double dipped! And by the Law of the Sea the pirates hand was forcefully removed and fed to the Kraken, never to be seen or heard from again! If you do not wish this to be your fate, DO NOT DOUBLE DIP!
1. Your beer must maintain a temperature of 32 to 39 degrees Fahrenheit! This rule is the most important for optimum viewing pleasure! If your beer’s temperature happens to rise above the indicated requirements, then you my friend, are either drinking too slow or you are having cooler issues. In which case you should notify the local authorities(the host) so that the situation can be handled accordingly. For best results consider utilizing a beer koozie while drinking.